


Beginning of Change

by bushfreak12 (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #FixIt, An ending rewrite, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Consequences, Cowards can't write redemption arcs, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fix-It, Kylo Ren Redemption, Rating May Change, Recovery, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Slow Burn, actually they can, they just like ruining them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21968275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bushfreak12
Summary: ***HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE RISE OF SKYWALKER***YES EVEN IN THE SUMMARY- SCROLL QUICKLYRey is alive, she shouldn't be, and it's all Ben's fault. After the battle on Exegol, Ben Solo is put on trial for his crimes against the galaxy. Rey is his only advocate, and it shows, but she knows there's still good left in him. Even if no one else seems to.orBeing bad at writing summariesorIn which I attempt to "fix" the ending of what was otherwise a pleasantly surprisingly good movie. Honestly, I was so happy with this movie until the ending, and I'm not even a huge Reylo fan. They gave me a good redemption arc, and then they threw it away for no reason. I'm sick of killing redeemed characters; stop doing it and give us a repentance arc. They didn't, so now I'm throwing my own interpretation. The characters themselves are going to decide whether or not they should, and so I'm going to mark this as a slow burn. There's going to be some Reylo, there's going to be angst, there's going to be an actual arc where Ben has to face his mistakes instead of just dying and skipping all the consequences, and hopefully I can do these characters the justice they were refused in the movie.
Kudos: 3





	Beginning of Change

I don’t remember dying.

I remember the pain, the horrible sensation of electricity coursing through my veins. I felt as though I was being torn apart by my own force push, and as the chamber around me collapsed, debris pounded against me. I think I hit my head against the stone floor. 

I remember wanting to scream and yet being too exhausted to do so.

Next I’m looking up at Ben, Ben somehow alive and holding me. Even that is fuzzy and unsure. I can bring to mind the sound of his voice more than his words. I think it was something like “hold on” or “stay awake” or maybe both.

And then there’s nothing.

No suns or moons. No New Order or Resistance. No force and no sith. Nothing. It was actually kind of peaceful.

Peaceful is not the word I would use for this night, but it’s not a bad thing in this case. All around me members of the Resistance celebrate their victory. Cups are full and voices loud. Some managed to scrounge up a few instruments to slap together a makeshift band, and under the cheers and laughter they don’t sound half bad. Another bout of whoops and hollers goes off, a kissing couple barely visible through the throng. It makes me smile, if only just a little. Everyone is so happy; triumph saturates the air itself. Good has once more won over evil. It is a story come to life, and the Resistance are the heroes.

I wish I could celebrate with them, but I just feel tired. The only reason I sit there is because I’ll never be able to sleep no matter how exhausted I am. And it isn’t just because it’s loud.

Finn was the one to coax me out, among other things. “Celebrate today,” he said, “Grieve tomorrow.” I wonder how many other people he told that; it had the finality of an order to it. I wonder if he gave everyone that searching look of concern or just the ones who had died today. Even now his eyes flicker to me every few seconds. Maybe he’s making sure I haven’t run off alone again. He doesn’t need to worry. I’m pretty sure my body won’t comply with another adventure. No, I’m content to sit there with my legs folded beneath me and just watch the party. They’ve all earned this and deserve it, and I’m not going to ruin it for anyone. 

I am tired though, and thankfully people seem to realize it. Instead of spilling their whole life story to me and thanking me profusely, they politely nod and smile in my direction. Both are appreciated, even if their thanks aren’t really deserved.

This is partially my fault after all. Partially the Solos’, partially the Skywalkers’, and…

Partially the Palpatines’.

The name is an ugly brand across my heart, one that dissolves any lasting humor and strength I had left.

“Rose,” I say quietly, and she looks up from her food beside me. “If anyone asks, I’m going to sleep.” She frowns, but she doesn’t argue like maybe Finn or Poe would. Neither does she step in to help me when I struggle to my feet. My staff is the only thing keeping me on my feet, I think. Only having one limb in perfect working order is an interesting experience I never want to repeat again. At least it’s my dominant arm I have.

I hobble back to my tent in a record fifteen minutes where it used to take me three. I blame myself. Taking as much lightning as I did was brutal to my body. I would’ve come out with a few broken bones no matter what, but the burns and nerve damage could’ve been avoided by redirecting the lighting rather than attempting to channel it. In theory anyways- the texts briefly mentioned the technique, but I’ve never practiced it myself. Still, it would’ve been nice to try.

Maybe I wouldn’t have died.

No one’s completely sure I did. Finn told me he’d felt me die, but when Ben pulled me out of the collapsing temple, my heart was beating. Finn hadn’t believed it at first, still almost couldn’t believe it.

Whatever happened, it is because of Ben that I was alive.

I pause at my tent, turning to look at another tent maybe forty feet from mine. Finn isn’t happy it’s so close to mine, but Poe apparently feels if anyone is going to make Kylo Ren stay put, it will be me, injured or not. There are four guards standing watch nearby, all volunteers, all too hardened from the battle for cheer.

I don’t blame them for mistrusting him or even hating him. He has his own piece in this story, a large one. He’s killed innocents, ruined people’s lives, destroyed planets. He murdered his own father.

For that alone, I would’ve killed him myself.

I’ve learned though that things are not always so black and white, and monsters are still just people underneath. Perhaps if everyone knew who I am and what I’ve done, they would not be so quick to call me ‘hero’. I can’t so easily label Ben as evil.

I am alive because of Ben.

On impulse, I murmur, “Be with him.” It shocks me at first, but then the words settle, and my mind calms. Perhaps both of us will be able to find sleep tonight after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Rey is dealing with a lot. She's trying to be happy, but there's a lot of crap to sort through in her head. Her anger hasn't disappeared, and she knows it.
> 
> I thought it was weird how they had Rey defeat Palpatine since we've seen Yoda deflect force lightning... funny how that probably wouldn't have killed her either.
> 
> I'm keeping this Teen for now, but again, I don't know how far Reylo is going to go, so it may move up to Mature.


End file.
